Monkey

I bet ya'll didn't know that I was married to a monkey, did you? Jason will do anything to make the boys laugh. Even climb a tree that's branches are much to small to support his weight. They spent all weekend out back playing.

Spring

Well, Spring has officially sprung in North Texas. I couldn't hold out any longer and had to plant SOME plants. However, only one container out front. Jason got off at noon today and we spent the afternoon outside doing some yard stuff. The boys are currently getting cleaned off from their afternoon of yard work with Jason....they are running through the sprinklers. Would it be "proper" for a woman who is 9 months pregnant to join them???

OK, so I have blogged before about how I feel about Kanye West. I admit, I like the song "Gold Digga"...HOWEVER, he is an idiot. Well wouldn't you know it that my FAVORITE new show is Mind of Mencia on Comedy Central and he spoofed Kanye. Jason and I saw it on the other night and I died laughing. I love Carlos Mencia....you should all check him out. Enjoy the video :-)

Baby preparing

I so badly want to post something other than yet another boring post, but I have nothing of interest to say. My life the last few days has been our normal busy. It is the busy time of month at work, so Jason has been working later than normal. We had soccer practice Tuesday...at which the other moms gave Jason a round of applause for how he handled the jerk of a coach at the last game.

Really I am focusing lately on getting ready for Chase's arrival. I am not nesting really...I am just not the nesting type. Just getting some things in order. We are pretty laid back about this kid. I realize after doing it twice before that I do not NEED much for when he comes home. I washed all his clothes, blankets, sheets and such yesterday. My mom sent a care package filled with things I needed still...THANK YOU MOMMY! If Chase were born today we would be ready...just have to make a pitstop for diapers. We are not doing the nursery yet since we will be having a shower this summer for Chase. The bassinet is stocked. All I lack is a some shelves for the nursery. I feel an IKEA visit coming on. HMMMM...

The boys are very ready for their brother to be here. They ask everyday if it is time to get the baby out. Austin has to pat my stomach several times a day and ask how the baby is. Brodie talks to Chase through my stomach. I can tell I am nearing the end as I am incredibly uncomfortable. I can't find a position that doesn't put pressure somehow in the wrong spot. Poor Jason...I know I must be a nightmare to deal with right now. You wouldn't know it if you talk to him. He has been really good considering this is his first go round with the whole preggo wife. Most men aren't this good in the second and third time at this.

Hopefully something exciting will pop into my head today so that I can blog about more than my pregnant self....have a good Thursday all.

Reason

Reason #1,275,845,993 That I Love My Husband:

I got a pretty bad papercut today. No big deal, but it wouldn't stop bleeding. I thought it was funny (in ridiculous sort of way) that the only band-aids we have in the house are Spongebob Squarepants. So I said to him, "Hey Honey, I cut my finger and I had to use a Spongebob band-aid."

Without missing a beat Jason said, "COOL, now you can glow in the dark."

There are 37 days left until my due date......that kinda threw me for a loop.

Weekend

I wish I could say that our weekend was productive...well maybe it was a little. Saturday was of course soccer day. The soccer game was very interesting. First, and most importantly, Austin played GREAT. Austin is not the best on his team. He loves to play, but he just doesn't have the coordination thing down yet. That and he is a kid who is so worried about everyone liking him that he is sometimes afraid to get into the mix. That is what we are working on, being aggresive. He is going to make a GREAT baseball player someday, but we wanted to build his confidence in a little less technical of a sport first. Saturday he blocked several kicks and was really trying to be aggressive. I was sooooo proud (I am always proud of him). Our great game was dampered a little bit by the idiot that was coaching the other team. After a disagreement with the ref over a call (which is just ridiculous in a Kindergarten game where we are not keeping score) the other coach decided it would be ok to tell another coach that OUR coach was a "fag". Now, had he whispered this out of earshot of children this would have been fine. Whatever, be a dumbass. BUT...he said it clear as day in front of his team consisting of 5 and 6 year olds AND in front of my 3 year old son. Oh hell no. So I said, "Hey, there is no need to talk like that in front of other people's children. This is a Kindergarten game, I think you need to keep that in mind." Well, apparently he is an even bigger idiot than I thought. He told me to, "Shut Up." Before I could even process what he had said Jason was out of his chair. Now granted, Jason was keeping in mind that there were kids watching, but he was also making his point. So after a brief word with the other coach all was back to normal. Jason is extremely protective of both myself and the boys. I already knew that. However, I have never gotten to see that side of him. He is a pretty quiet person and doesn't really have much of a temper (if anyone knows my past situation you can see why this trait was important to me). I have always said that I dare someone to say a cross word to either myself or the boys in front of Jason....I guess I was right.

Saturday night we went out to dinner with Brad, Shana and Bishop. It was so nice to get to just hang out with them and chat. Jason had really never been around them, so I was glad that everyone got acquainted. Sunday the boys all spent the day outside working on the yard. We went and bought new patio furniture (I love Target), so Jason got that all put together. I have been fighting the urge to plant flowers. I am afraid we are going to get more bad weather. So I am waiting until at least mid-April (or that is the plan, we will see if I can hold out). Sunday afternoon Austin and I worked on a project for school while Brodie and Jason napped (hence the picture of Jason and the dogs). I guess we did get some things accomplished.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Austin the photographer

Jason let Austin have free reign of the camera for a while this weekend. Here are two of his pictures. Austin loves to take pictures on interesting angles. He really does take some great pictures. It is a fun way to see how kids see the world.

BArney and Betty

As if I was not jealous enough of my mom. Everyone meet the newest member of the family....Betty. Barney now has a sister.

Diaper Bags

I have a problem. I can't stop buying diaper bags. Now before anyone worries, I always take the other one back when I purchase a new one. However, I vow that the one I bought yesterday will be my last. From the very beginning there has been a Kenneth Cole diaper bag that I wanted (it comes with 3 Kenneth Cole Onesies as well as a changing pad and some other stuff). The problem was I couldn't make myself pay that much for a diaper bag. So I kept buying diaper bags and then finding one I liked better. Yesterday my aunt and I were out shopping and I found my Kenneth Cole bag...it was over $30 cheaper than retail price. Needless to say, it has been purchased. I SWEAR THIS IS MY LAST (unless I find a better one).

diaper bag

Topic for tomorrow's post: Why LaShawn has purchased and taken back 5 diaper bags? (Kenneth Cole is involved...should have known)

I wanted to have a lovely post all made up for tonight, but I am wiped out and extremely swollen. Our animals have all been acting very weird the last week or so. I am pretty sure they are sensing it is getting close to baby time. It is just very odd to have 4 animals all of a sudden turn clingy. Especially the dogs. Mojo is a BIG dog (his head comes up past my hip and I am 5'8) & he wants to be in my lap...you do the math. Mama Callie just about clawed me to death this afternoon trying to stay near me and get me to sit down.

Hey Mom, why does Mandy get comments and I don't??? HUH??? I know I talk to you like everyday, but it is no excuse :-)

Mushy

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am insanely mushy about my kids. Pregnancy hormones are just intensifying that for me. I find myself getting teary eyed almost daily about them. Last night we were doing our nighttime reading and Brodie started telling me what each number was by sight. I didn't know he knew that. I had to stop myself from crying. I can't even get into Austin. He is just so big...SO BIG. The picture is of them last night. Austin was doing his homework and Brodie said he needed to do some too. They are just getting so big so fast. I know that they are only 6 and 3 and it seems like they are so little. THEY AREN'T!!! It was just a blink of an eye ago that they were born. I used to hate it when people would tell moms that were having a bad day to remember that it flys by so fast. Boy, I get it now. Even on my worst days, when everything they do drives me nuts, I remind myself that Jason and I are going to turn around one day and all three of our boys are going to be out of the house, married, having babies. While I can't wait for all that lies ahead, I want to keep them little for as long as I can. It reminds me of that country song that says, "Let them be little". Oh so true. They grow up fast enough on their own.

We had our 34 week ultrasound yesterday morning. I would have new pictures to post, but my scanner is once again acting like a retard.

Dr. Zaretsky said that everything looked wonderful. Chase is now 5 lbs 1 oz. I told Jason before we went in that he was 5 lbs. Am I good or what? Moms have a sense of these things. We got to see him breathing amniotic fluid. He does this about once every 30 minutes. It is practice for breathing outside the womb and it is a great sign of brain activity and development. The doctor was able to position the doppler over his mouth and we got to actually hear him breathing. He even colorized the fluid so that we could actually see the fluid going through his nostrils. How cool is that? We have loved getting to see all of these amazing things. Brodie went with us and told the doctor, "I have seen this movie before." Then he announced that we needed to buy this movie. He is a crack up.

The placenta is still low, but Dr. Zaretsky said he did not think it would hinder me from attempting a vaginal birth. My doctor gets last call on that. There is really only about a 40-70% chance that I will be able to deliver vaginally anyway (depending which doctor you talk to). I was so glad that I did attempt it with Brodie, as that labor was extremely fast and so was my recovery compared to the C-section with Austin. More than likely we will allow me to go into labor and just watch. If there is any sign of placental bleeding or any other complication they will immediately take me in for C-section.

Bible

These are two of the passages in my morning reading from this morning. They really apply to me right now as I am having a hard time letting go of some issues that I have no control over. Just wanted to share:

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." - Hebrews 10:36 This one applys because our move to Dallas does not makes sense to some people. Jason and I truly felt like he was called to be here. The more learn about the inner dealing of how he got his job and some of the things that have happened since being here, the more we are sure that this is where God placed us. Sometimes you have to go where God wants you, not where you want to go. (That being said we love it here)

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." - Ephesians 4:31-32 This one speaks for itself. I think every human struggles with forgiveness of those that have wronged you. Some of us have a harder time with it than others. I have a lot more to say on this as this was the topic of bible study on Tuesday. Hopefully I will get to it today sometime.

Boys are up, breakfast time!!! Everyone have wonderful Monday!

baby shower

Today I went to Shana's baby shower!!! For those of you that don't know, Shana and I have known each other since about 1984. She and my brother were "boyfriend & girlfriend" in Kindergarten. Our parents have been friends all these years and she is just such a special person to me. She is due with her second child (her son, Bishop is Brodie's age) in June. My mom and I got Shana some very cute Tech stuff for Baby Shayden. She has to represent!! Sorry about the picture Shana, but you were laughing in it and I thought it was funny :-)

Busy weekend

We had a very busy weekend. Some of the busy-ness was NOT intentional. Saturday morning we woke up and decided to head out to the Allen outlet stores and do some shopping. Hard to keep Jason and I away from Kenneth Cole. We picked up a few things for the baby and for Jason. Austin had a soccer game that afternoon. As you can see from the picture, he is quite the kicker (when it is not moving). After the game we came home and rested for a while. About 4:30 I decided it was time to do the much dreaded grocery shopping. I was walking through the garage and slipped on a puddle of water that I didn't know was there. Needless to say, it doesn't take much to knock someone who is 33 weeks pregnant off her feet. Jason was in the backyard and heard me fall and came running. I caught myself luckily. However, not so lucky for Jason's car. Luckily the Z made it through with no scratches. It felt like I pulled a muscle in my side, but I didn't fall on my stomach and I felt ok. I went ahead and went to the store. About 8:00 that night my stomach started to do some MAJOR cramping. You know the kind that doubles you over in pain? After about 30 minutes of that Jason and I decided it was time to call the doctor. We were pretty sure that I just had a stomach bug, but given that I had fallen we thought it was a good idea. The doctor decided to be cautious and asked me to come in. Nine o'clock last night we were headed to the hospital. The lower picture is of the boys watching a DVD on Jason's laptop in the room in Labor and Delivery. They can be so good sometimes. They ran some blood work, did an ultrasound, put the baby on the monitors for a time and just observed. My blood work came back with elevated white blood cells and the doctor was pretty sure I just had a stomach bug. Of course by the time that they decided it was ok for me to go home the boys were passed out on the couch. We made it home at almost 1 am and got everyone off to bed. We were all exhausted. I am still a little tender in my abdomen today, but otherwise feeling ok. We have our 34 week ultrasound tomorrow morning and are hoping that it shows an improvement in the placenta. I, of course, will be posting pictures if we get more.

Idiot adults

Adults are idiots.... My sister in law, Mandy, got me to thinking about this. Do you remember when you were a child and you thought, "Surely it will get easier when I am an adult"? You know, easier to talk to someone instead of talking ABOUT someone. Somehow it was supposed to be easier to relate to the girl who grew up with everything she ever wanted, but appreciated none of it. It was supposed to get easier to deal with the cute boy who wanted nothing to do with you. Easier to tell people to kiss your ass when you had just had enough of them. Then you grew up.

My mom has very little patience with adults. Go ahead ask her, she will tell you. Perhaps because I am so much like my mom this is where I get it. Adults are petty, idiotic, self-absorbed creatures for the most part. My mom and Mandy are both teachers (all bow down to their feet now....seriously...no I mean it). BOTH work with kids with "issues" we will call it. And yet, all their MAJOR issues at school come from the adults that surround them. How is that possible?

In a day I can deal with spilled cereal all over the carpet, crushed fruit loops in the bed, a child who refuses to blow his nose and insists on rubbing his snot on anything in sight, things being knocked off the grocery shelves, a three year old that thinks he rules the world, a six year old who KNOWS he rules the world, soccer kicks to the ribs, whining, crying, fussing and fighting....AS LONG AS IT COMES FROM MY KIDS! Adults should really know better. However, if you really listen...I mean REALLY listen to day to day life it is adults not the little folks that do the most whining and crying and fussing and fighting. I thought surely all those mean girls from high schools around the world would grow out of it. You know what I found? They just grow up to be mean adults and mean moms. You know, the kind that will kill another mom for her daughter to have a cheerleading spot. It just amazes me that adults can be so idiotic....and yet they are. Shana, I know you know what I am talking about as well. It is universal.

Adults act more like children than children do....no wonder our kids are confused.

Pregger tummy

I thought I would post an "upright" picture of me. The picture I posted of me laying down a few days ago does not do the preggers belly justice. Granted, I am much smaller this pregnancy than I was with my others (tummy wise...we won't get into other areas). I am due in just 7 weeks. Down to the wire. Both the boys ask me everyday, "Mommy is it time to get the baby out?" They are so excited.

tag

I have been tagged by Shana....here goes

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Bookkeeper, Cardinal Van & Storage, 29 Palms, CA
2. Office Manager, Submersible Pump, Lubbock, TX
3. 1 Hour Photo, Sav-On Drug, Las Vegas, NV (hey I was only 18)
4. Mommy...by far the hardest, but the absolute BEST job in the world

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Mallrats
2. Sense and Sensibility
3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
4. Austin Powers (yea I am that big of a dork)

Four places I have lived:
1. Childress, TX
2. Las Vegas, NV (Henderson too, but really they are the same)
3. Lubbock, TX
4. 29 Palms, CA

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Nip/Tuck
2. Scrubs
3. Project Runway
4. Meet the Barkers

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. London
2. Paris
3. Cancun
4. Other locations in Europe

Four websites I visit daily:
1. Blogger
2. Yahoo Mail
3. Various blogs that I read
4. Drudge Report

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Taco Salad, No tomatoes, sour cream and guacamole from Rosa's
2. Chicken Milano from Carinos
3. #7 from Lindo's in Vegas (Enchiladas with tomatillo sauce)
4. Green Chicken Enchiladas from Blue Goose

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. sleeping
2. Cancun...though not pregnant
3. Baby clothes shopping
4. Lubbock, to see my nephew

I am not tagging anyone back since I would probably tag people that have already been tagged. Thanks for all the encouraging emails yesterday. I am in a very good mood today. I went to bible study and that really helped me get my mind in the right place. God is good and he will take care of my situations if I will let him....and I intend to. He brought us to Dallas for a reason and we are starting to see the fruit of that promise. Love you guys!

Difficult people

We have all heard the saying that difficult people are put into our lives for a purpose. Sometimes it is hard to find the purpose for it. Especially when you have no control over how that person entered your life. My question is: Why do people think that the things you do and say on the internet are not going to get back to people? I find it quite funny how people can live in their own little bubble not really KNOWING a person and still pass judgment on them. People get one side of a story and run with it. Hey, I know it is human nature, but it doesn't make it right. Divorce is one of those things that happens in life that can cause major complications. Especially for the party that didn't WANT the divorce in the first place (at least not before exhausting all the options). Then remarriage causes even more. Especially when the "new" person doesn't bother to try to see anything from anyone's point of view but their own. There are people in this world that truly believe that the world revolves around them and live their lives as such. No matter how nice and diplomatic I have tried to be, it just never seems to get easier. Those of you that have read this for a long time (2 years) know that I do not publicly say anything bad about my ex or his new wife. I do this not out of respect for them (as they have given me little reason to respect them) but out of respect for my children. I do not ever wish for them to be a pawn in some twisted game. I have seen too many kids screwed up by selfish parents who want to try to "get back" at the other person. I refuse to do that to my kids. If others choose to not behave in the same respectful manner I guess I have no real control over that. I will just say, I wish that others could act a little more like adults when it comes to issues involving children. Cause really, what good does it do to create more drama? OK off my rant.

Barney

Barney (my mom's dog) and I aren't friends or anything.

Farmers Market

My Mom and Grannie have been in town since Wednesday. Yesterday we headed to Uptown Dallas and went to the Farmer's Market. We loaded up on a ton of fresh fruit.

Mirror Mirror

Ever since I took this picture I have had a song stuck in my head. Most you that read this are probably not familiar with the group Barlow Girl. They have a song called "Mirror" that literally had me in tears the first time I heard it. I posted it back a two years ago or so on my other blog. I thought I would post the lyrics again. I have been down on myself lately, and this song reminds us to stop looking at how the world sees us and start viewing ourselves as OUR FATHER sees us. If you view yourself that way, you can't help but have high self esteem.

"Mirror"

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?

'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am

I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect

So sorry you won't define me

Sorry you don't own me

Who are you to tell me

That I'm less than what I should be?

Who are you? Who are you?

I don't need to listen

To the list of things I should do

I won't try, I won't try

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection

I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me

And to Him I have beauty beyond compare

I know He defines me

You don't define me, you don't define me

Speed Demon

Jason took the dogs for a walk last night. The boys decided to go along on their scooters. Brodie got to riding a little too hard and here are the results. This is 24 hours later. The knee was bleeding and oozy...not pretty. Poor Bub.

Spring Break

Well, Austin's Spring Break is officially over. He headed back to school today. We had a good week. Tuesday we went to Uptown Dallas and rode the trolley and had lunch at the Hard Rock. Thursday we went and had a picnic (though we had to eat indoors cause of the wind) and played at the park. Jason's parents were in town Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We went to Cheesecake Factory, Austin's Soccer game, kite flying and shopping. It was a good weekend. You can see all the pictures from Spring Break here. I will be back to better posting tomorrow.

Mirror

Ever stare in the mirror and think, "When did that line appear?". I was having a "quarter life" crisis this morning. All is well again :-)

Soda thief

I had a mystery that I had to solve this morning:

My allergies were HORRIBLE last night. So I woke up feeling really "rough" this morning, for lack of a better word. I got out of bed and got the boys some breakfast. I really wanted a coke (some people have cigarettes, some people have alcohol...I have caffeine). I remembered that I had one from yesterday that I didn't finish sitting in the fridge. It was like the clouds parted and angels were singing the Hallelujah Chorus. I opened the fridge and there were my coke should be.....NOTHING! How could I have been so wrong? I swear I left it there. Maybe I forgot and drank it all. No, I remember seeing it last night when I went to get a glass of water. What happened to my beloved caffeinated beverage???

JASON?!?!?!!

Punk stole my soda. I called him and he fessed up. So I had to make a Sonic run at 8:15 this morning. It was either caffeine for Mom or death for all. Thank God for Sonic.....Love me some Sonic.

If "normal" office hours are 8:30 am until 4:30 pm WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING YOUR PHONE AT 8:40am??? Stupid stuff like this is irritating.

Confession

I have something really important to talk about, but first I must tell you all about my newest love, The Marble Mocha Macchiato, from Starbucks. I don't like white chocolate, but damn if I can't get enough of this drink. Tastes like sophisticated hot chocolate with an uptown twist. Or in my own terms...It is DAMN tasty.

**Brutal honesty on my part here. If I offend anyone, well so be it. This may not all make sense to you and really it doesn't have to. It is more for me**
The bible study that I am currently doing as well as a few things that have been discussed in church recently, has all lead up to a confession of sorts for me. It has gotten me thinking in terms of, "Am I satisfied in my Christian walk?". Now, I think if we are every truly satisfied with our walk then we have just stopped growing. I have heard many people who have been believers and in the church for a long period of time talk about Spiritual Burnout. I have witnessed this burnout in people close to me. I am reaching a point of burnout. Now to clarify, I am not burned out of CHRIST! I truly believe that if you have fallen in love with him, TRULY fallen, than it is a hard thing to ever fall out. However, we all have stumbling blocks that pop up along the way in our faith journey. We all have certain weaknesses as humans and Satan is right there waiting for the opportune moment to exploit those weaknesses. Most of the blame falls solely on our own shoulders. We are fallen people, and we keep falling down.

It is easy in the Christian community when you are having a HIGH season with the Lord to look around and have pity on the poor pitiful saps that are not as holy as you. I see people everyday in the church that look down their noses at those that are not doing things perfectly as Christians. Of course we all know that those higher and mightier Christians are just as sinful as we lowly folk. They just mask it with volunteer work and Christian-ese talk. It is also easy for us to look around during our low seasons with the Lord and see these "Super-Christians" and feel that we are, indeed, less than them. They must somehow love Christ more than us. They have some secret potion that we do not. We forget of course, that they are human and struggle as we do. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others.

I have come to realize that some of my hang-ups and habits are getting worse and not better in the past few months. Realization is an important step, but means nothing without acceptance and repentance. Changing is the MOST important step, not to mention the hardest. Some of my hang-ups may not seem to be a big deal to many. But they are to me. I feel they are holding me back in my relationship with Jesus. As far as I am concerned, that is as big of a deal as you can get. For accountability purposes I feel the need to put these out into the open and see how I feel about others, especially those close to me, knowing my thought process on this. I am only going to discuss one thing at a time. So it may take me a month to get these all out.

Worship: One definition I found (Starting Point Study Bible-NIV) "True worship overflows from our hearts & minds. Our entire lives should reflect our worship."

My life reflects very little of my heart for God. I am so sad about that. The one outward manifestation of this inner conflict that I can think of is how I am at church. My faith background before adulthood consisted of very NON-charismatic church experiences mixed in throughout my life; mostly small town Baptist church and small town Church of Christ. Now, because of my youth and lack of knowledge I missed a lot about these churches. I am not trying to say that these churches were not great churches. I am just saying my worldview of Christianity was somewhat small. Once I became an adult and found myself seeking Christ I realized how very little I actually knew. It was a daunting task for me to set out and find a church home for the first time. I didn't know what exactly I was looking for. I didn't want to be one of those church hoppers that are looking for the church to fulfill their every need. I knew that was not the answer as only Christ can do that. I knew that the stoic churches that I had attended didn't feel right and that I felt pulled in other directions. However, I had inner conflict about this. On the same level that I felt that something was lacking in worship I had been exposed to, I also felt highly uncomfortable around "the freaks". You know the people who raised their hands in church *gasp*. They were just making a spectacle of themselves in my mind. I mean, that wasn't right. Church was supposed to be a very somber place. As I began seeking out a church for myself and my kids I felt the pull to the freaks.

"Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp." Psalm 149:3

That is not stoic worship. When I walked into my church in Lubbock for the first time I immediately felt something. When the praise and worship music started my hands shot into the air, my heart leapt with joy tears were streaming down my face.

Fast forward to now...my hands are back down by my side. There is no outward show of emotion. This is not my church's fault. There are all kinds of people at my church, the stoics, the over the top charismatic, the altar worshiper...all kinds. I am truly not sure why it is so different for me now. I still want to wave my hands in the air. What is that I am feeling? Embarrassment? WHY???? Why should I be embarrassed about praising the God that has given me life? When I am home alone & I play my P&W music I dance, I sing LOUD, I raise my hands, I cry. Why is it difficult now in church?

I really don't have an answer for you, but I am determined to find the answer and to eliminate that roadblock.

Target Pic

The boys wanted to try on "cool guy" sunglasses in Target yesterday. Such goofs. We had a good day yesterday. Kree and I went to a fabulous consignment sale and got lots of baby clothes and A CRIB (thank you Kree and Bigs for that purchase). It is a GORGEOUS crib. Will post a picture soon. There is talk of possibly having a shower in Lubbock in March sometime. I am sure we will know for sure in a few days. It would be my last chance to come before Chase makes his appearance. I have a really good post (at least it will be about something other than my errands) coming soon. I am working on it, probably have it up by the end of the day. Sorry my posts have been so blah lately. Just so tired most days now; not to mention SWOLLEN.

picture problems

Thank you to those of you that emailed me about my main images not loading. The site where I store my images is currently moving their site over to a new system and are still working out some kinks. If the images are not back up by the end of the day I will move them over to a different FTP space. Thanks guys!

Preggers

I am feeling pretty good about myself today. Considering I am 30 weeks pregnant, I think I am looking pretty good. Especially since this is my third child. Brodie wanted to take pictures, so I let him take a few of me. Nevermind that I match our wall....that was not planned. I like that I feel this way now. Any of you who know me well know that my weight has fluctuated insanely the last few years. I was finally losing weight (in a healthy way for the right reasons) when I got pregnant. That has been my biggest struggle with this pregnancy....knowing that I will not look so hot after. But, I am determined to enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy and to rest in the fact that I know what I have to do after the baby is born to get myself in shape. This time I am doing it for me, because I care about my own health. Not because I feel like I need to for someone else. That is a big deal for me.

However, "the girls" are getting out of hand. UGH! You women know what I mean!

Weekend

Sorry I have been somewhat quite lately on here. I personally am struggling with a major case of the blahs. I think the sudden change in weather last week played a part in that. But, it is sunny and I am better.

Austin spent the weekend with his friend Collin for Collin's birthday. Collin's mom took the picture of them at Medieval Times. They had a blast and I am guessing Austin was well behaved since they asked him to stay an extra night. Brodie got to spend Friday night with Aunt Kree. This was a big deal to him, since he got to do it without Austin. Jason and I took advantage of the kid free night and went out to dinner at The Cheesecake Factory in Frisco. We then took further advantage of the time and SLEPT IN on Saturday! This is a big deal for us anymore. I realize my days of sleep are coming to a close. Though it isn't like I get a ton of sleep now.

Other than that it was a pretty ordinary weekend. We hung out, did some shopping, went to church. Church was good this week. We had a guest come and preach. I really enjoyed what he had to say. It was Chi Alpha weekend for our youth so we had a bigger crowd than normal. Last weekend Jason and I became official members of our church here. So, this Sunday we had to go down to the front of the church to be presented to the congregation. I will have to post a picture of what we got to remind ourselves of the commitment to our church and the church as a whole worldwide. Pretty nifty stuff. I will post more later. I have more in depth things to talk about I promise. The sun is shining and the day is slipping from me, so I am off to get some things done.

Mandy Lyndon Cason

I meant to scan and post this back when I got them last month. Time slipped from me....then my scanner went on the fritz. All is well now. I miss these three SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much it is insane. Mandy, I want to try to come to Lubbock before the baby is born so that I can see you guys...I just don't think it is going to happen.

For those few of you who may NOT know who these people are. This is my brother, Lyndon, his beautiful wife, Mandy, and of course my most handsome nephew, Cason.

Love you guys!

Mom and Boys

Self Pic
Originally uploaded by LaShawn Williams.

The boys and I decided to take a picture of ourselves...no reason, just felt like it.

The boys and I have a new musical love...Jack Johnson's new CD from the Curious George Soundtrack. I love it more than they do. It is a fun CD but not little kid sounding. We love it a whole bunch. Follow the link and go listen to samples at Amazon.

In other news, we have this atomic clock in our living room. You know, one of those clocks that automatically keeps the time accurate. I am not sure of the details of HOW it works (ask Jason I am sure he can give you all the details), I just know that it is supposed to work. I think it is telling us to go to Hawaii or something. It keeps going to Hawaii time. Hmmm...

Some of you that read this know who Steve Farmer is. If you don't and you want to know you can email me and I will tell you. Anywho, I just thought I would share that he and his wife Amanda gave birth to their first child yesterday. It was a boy and they named him Jacen. I don't know any of the details as Steve and I don't really speak much, but I still keep up with them via his website. He is serving in Iraq right now, so pray for him. I know it must be hard to be away at a time like this.

My boys

I love my boys....aren't they cute? HOWEVER, can I tell you a secret? I am so excited that Brodie starts a one day a week Parent's Day Out program tomorrow. Now, in times past I would have had tremendous guilt over feeling that way. I have learned that even Super Mom needs a break. Honestly, Brodie needs a break from Mom. So, tomorrow I will have 5 hours all to myself. I think a long visit to the bookstore is in order. Have myself a coffee and look around. Yes I believe so! Perhaps lunch out with my hubby? Hmmmm...wonder if I can get him to actually TAKE a lunch. I doubt it. This I vow....I will fill my time doing things that are otherwise somewhat difficult with a very active 3 1/2 year old in tow.

Emotional

I am starting to get emotional. OK, so I have been emotional for a while. What I mean is I am starting to get emotional in a different way lately. I am starting to really dread the end of this pregnancy. I don't dread the end of the hip pain, or the indigestion, or the other discomforts of pregnancy. In my last two pregnancies by the time I got to about 25 weeks I was so ready to be done with the pregnancy that I could hardly stand it. This one is different. I can not wait to see Chase and see if he looks like Austin and Brodie. To see the resemblances between him and his daddy and to count all his toes and fingers. I can not wait to nurse him and hold him late at night when it is just the two of us. I even can not wait to see how Austin and Brodie are with the baby. Austin has always been a good big brother and I have no doubt that Brodie will be as well. However, I am starting to feel like this is my last go round with the whole pregnant thing. Some of the folks around us are saying that they believe we will have one more. Maybe we will. We are not ruling it out just yet. With that said, every time I hear Chase's heartbeat or see him on the Ultrasound picture I get a little choked up. I feel that this is my last one. Time has passed me so quickly with Austin and Brodie. And it seems to be already with Chase. I am never going to experience the first movements of a baby again. Chase will be the last baby that I get up and nurse in the middle of the night. The last baby that tickles my side while he nurses. The last one to light up with I walk into a room and reach out for me. I guess with all the excitement of Chase's arrival I am grieving the time that has already past with Austin and Brodie. I am already grieving the time that has yet to pass with Chase. Don't get me wrong. I love watching the boys grow up. I love that I am a soccer mom and get to go to cheer my son on. I love that Brodie has become such a comedian and is getting so independent. I love to watch all of it. The pregnancy is just making me think back on times when they were smaller. The nights in California when I was all alone, no family, no friends. Austin would wake up and I of course would go running. I would lay in the spare bed in his nursery and nurse him until we both fell asleep. He would tickle my side with his fingers while nursing. Times when Brodie was a newborn and would look into my eyes while sitting on my knees. He always had the sly grin he still has. He would sit there for hours and never complain or whimper. He loved to cuddle in the mornings.

Maybe these are the reasons why now when my boys wake up in the middle of the night I still want to rock and love on them. When they cry out I still want to run to them. I suspect I will always have these feelings, but this pregnancy is intensifying them. This is why I am trying to appreciate and cherish every kick to the ribs, every night I can't sleep, even the hip pain. It will all be gone too quickly and in the blink of an eye all three of my boys will be teenagers. Perhaps this post rambled on...I am tempted to go back and read it. But, I am going to post it as is. I want to be able to look back on it in a few months when I am complaining that the baby has not been born yet and remind myself to hold on to the moments that I am having RIGHT NOW.

Letter from my son

Sometimes it is the littlest things that make Mommies smile the biggest :-) In case you can't tell, the picture is of Austin and me. I am the Queen and he is a Prince, hence the crown. He gave me a rockin' 80's style ponytail...love it!

Site update

As you can see, I updated my site. Gave it a facelift. To tell you the truth I am not loving it, but it will do for now. I really want something girly...keeping with the girly theme of the week. I don't really have the patience to fiddle with it as much as I need to. So, we will go with this for the time being. Hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!

All you parents should go to this site....great info and advice from other parents. Not to mention a ton of laughs. Parental Hacks

V day cell phone

Look what my hubby got me for Valentine's day. I saw the pink Razr cell phone on TV a few weeks ago and casually mentioned how cool I thought it was and that I might like to have one. Jason took notes. For the record, Jason is the gadget guy around here. He likes cell phones and such. This is the first phone I have WANTED enough to say something about. I should ask for stuff more often :-) Isn't it cute??? I even got a cute hot pink carrying case. I used to not be this big of a girly girl. But when you have all boys in your house I think your estrogen jumps.

Cloe the devil

I have a total Love/Hate relationship with our cat Cloe (the light colored one in the picture). For those of you that read who do not know me in real life, let me catch you up. I love all animals, but I am a dog person. Period....it is just the way I am. I have always liked dogs more. I have no use for cats in my life for the most part. I was always allergic to them and I took that as God's way of saying, "They are evil stay away". Now, Jason and I started dating. He has these two cats, Cloe and Callie (who we call Mama). Now for the most part of our dating Mama Callie would have nothing to do with me or the kids. She is just a much more timid, keep to herself kind of cat. So we have never had a problem. THEN THERE IS CLOE!!! When we started dating Cloe also stayed away from us. Then when she was around she was constantly pissy. Now, Jason loves his cats, so I tolerated them. I would never ask him to give them up unless it was medically necessary or one of them hurt my kids. Once Jason and I got married, my allergies started to go away. God was obviously saying, "Well these cats are ok because your husband loves them." miraculously, they both started to love me. Cloe was no longer pissy all the time and Mama would nap with me, etc. So life with the cats has been fine. Jason has had to adapt to the fact that I see no distinction in how you treat cats and how you treat dogs. They are all animals, they are under the humans. PERIOD. He is over it. There are very few rules...no getting on counters in the kitchen, no getting on the kitchen table, and no getting on my pillow. The cats have complied. Well, they WERE complying. Cloe has in the last month decided to test her role in this house. It started slowly...getting on the table etc. Now it has gone to stalking the dogs and hissing at them when all they are doing is sleeping on THEIR bed. Now she will get in my lap at night, lay down and purr and then when I touch her bite the crap out of me. THIS DOES NOT FLY WITH ME! I would not allow a dog to act this way and I will not allow the cat to. Jason of course defends the cats saying that I should just let them be. Well, when she gets in my lap it is really not my choice then. So Cloe ran out in the backyard today and I went to retrieve her. She bit me and tried to get me with her back claws (she has no front claws). When I got in the house I *gently* put her down. This has got to stop. The spray bottle is back out and the war is on. This is my house and it will remain that way. Poor Jason! Thank goodness I still love and adore Mama Kitty. She is a sweetheart. Her daughter is the devil.

Eyebrows

This is a picture of me if I do not get my eyebrows waxed VERY soon. OYE! It is just one of those things that as a mom is a real luxury. Wait, having hair yanked from my body, a luxury? Well, you know what I mean. It is a time issue. I am REALLY bad about putting myself last. I have gotten better about it in the recent past, but I am still not close to there. There are many things I want to do. Get a pedicure, get my nails put back on again, have a girly night out, get my makeup done....just tons of things. But, alas, I can't even muster up the time to get my eyebrows waxed. Maybe tomorrow....I have been saying that for a month.

Ultrasound 28 weeks

I will have a full post later today. I just wanted to post some of the latest ultrasound pictures. What a Valentine's present for me!!!! Love seeing him. Everyone meet Chase! Yup that is the name we FINALLY decided on. It was no where on our original list. Jason came home one night and mentioned it and I sat on it a few days. It has stuck. It is the only one I feel fits. Anyway, I am off to lay down for a bit. Will be back later today with more details of the doctor visit.

Edited later in the day:

So we got great news at the doctor today. My placenta is now 1.9 cm away from the cervical os, instead of covering it. This is awesome news as this takes a lot of danger out of this pregnancy. They are still calling this a low lying placenta, but the perinatoligist said that we are no longer in danger of placenta acreta and the risk of bleeding is back down to extremely little. Once I talk with my regular OB on Thursday I will know if we are going to try for vaginal birth. I hope so. I don't mind having a C section (I had one with my oldest son), but would rather avoid it if possible. Given of course that I was not putting myself or Chase at risk. Chase is measuring perfect for May 10 due date and is 2.5 lbs. His little cheeks are looking more filled out. I got the best Valentine's present of all getting to see his face today. In other good news, I am now off pelvic rest....and well, let's just say. "Happy Valentine's Day Jason and LaShawn" hehe. Thank you all who ask and pray about us. We love you.

You know the phrase, "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt"? That phrase is about to be proven true in my living room. All I know is my three boys (Austin, Brodie and hubby) are wrestling and there is lots of laughing and yelling. Goofy boys.

Name

WE HAVE A NAME!!!

Jason and I finally picked out a name for our little "munchkin". I feel awful that it took me this long. I was quick with both Austin and Brodie. This one was just harder for me. So yay, we have a name!!!! Oh, you want to know what it is? Too bad. HA! I will announce it tomorrow along with new ultrasound pictures hopefully. Ain't I a tease? hehe

Ick

Well, folks...more proof that this sick thing just won't quit. I hauled my butt into the Urgent care tonight at 7:30 and was told, "You have a severe sinus infection AND bronchitis. If you had not come in you could have gotten pneumonia. If that would have happened being pregnant you would have bought yourself a ticket to the hospital." So LaShawn is on antibiotics now as well as a slew of other things. I am going to have to change the name of this blog to "The Infirmary"

My parents are coming to town this weekend. And while I hate that I don't feel good...what else can be better than my MOMMY coming while I am sick? I miss my mommy :-)

I have a had a few emails...we got back Feb. 14th for our next ultrasound. Will update as soon as we know something.

No Class

THIS is further proof that some people have NO class whatsoever. Time and place people!

Sick

And then there was one....

This cold bug refuses to leave us alone. First Brodie, over two weeks ago, caught the bug. Then Mommy got it (Mommy is still fighting the remnants of it). Then Brodie got it again, resulting in a massive ear infection (he had bubbles on his ear drum..OUCH!) last week. Now, Austin is down with it. He hacked his poor little head off all night long last night. We have vaporizers going and prescription decongestants. Hopefully by keeping him home today and giving him breathing treatments every few hours we can knock it loose. This bug just loves us. So far Jason is the only one to ward this thing off. Jason rarely gets sick...something tells me he may not continue with his lucky streak.

Belly shot

Awful picture...but this is for Shana. See my butt sticks out....be thankful yours doesn't. Here is what LaShawn looks like at 26 1/2 weeks pregnant. I am very swollen now at night. Not fun!

Birthday and Belly

So we had a busy week. Wednesday was Austin's birthday. Jason took the boys out to dinner that night for "Guy's Night". I had to teach at church, so it worked out. Friday night Austin got to have his very first sleepover. His friend, Collin, from school and from soccer came over and spent the night. We went to Chuck E. Cheese and did all that. Then it was home for popcorn and movies. They had a good time. It is amazing the things you realize about your own child when you get someone else around. Let's just say, I am thankful my children are the way they are. Other than that, we had a pretty relaxed weekend. We actually made it to church today. It is the first time in 3 weeks that no one was sick. I would post more, but sleep is calling as I have slept like crap for many days now. The pictures are from our night as well as from the boys helping me make the cake....or helping me eat the batter. One of the two!

Our internet has been on the fritz the last few days...so forgive my silence. I have had lots going on to talk about. I promise to post this weekend about all the goings on around the Williams house. Austin turned 6 years old on Wednesday and he is having a friend over tonight for his very first sleepover. I am sure I will have lots to say when I get back to posting.